The conversations that matter most rarely happen at the first meeting. Here is what families should ask early — politely, and directly.
Most rishtas fall apart not because of a mismatch on paper, but because an important question went unasked. Age, education and horoscope are checked carefully; expectations about daily life often are not.
These ten questions are the ones our matchmaking team hears families wish they had raised earlier. Ask them warmly and at the right time — usually after the first meeting has gone well, and before any commitment is made.
About life after marriage
- Where will the couple live in the first two years — with parents, separately, or in another city?
- Will the bride continue working, and is that a shared expectation or an assumption?
- How are household responsibilities and finances handled in the family today?
- Are there plans to relocate abroad or to another state?
About family and health
- Who lives in the household, and are any elders dependent on care?
- Is there any ongoing medical condition either family should know about?
- What are the family’s expectations around religious practice and festivals?
About the individuals
- What does each person want from the next five years — career, study, children?
- Has either person been in a previous marriage or long engagement?
- What does each of them expect from a partner on an ordinary day, not a special one?
How to ask without offending
Frame questions as shared planning rather than an inspection: "We were discussing where the couple would settle — what are your thoughts?" invites an answer; "Do you expect her to leave her job?" invites defence.
Write the answers down. Families meet many prospects, and details blur. If an answer changes between meetings, that itself is worth noticing.
Where this comes from
This article carries no external sources. It rests on the SaathiSutra matchmaking team’s own work with families in these districts. Where an article turns on a statute or a government portal we cite it; where the advice comes from experience we say so rather than attaching official-looking links it does not rest on.
Our team answers every message. Reach out and we will sort it out.
